Can't Get Clean

“Can’t Get Clean”

I have bathed a thousand times

but you are still on my skin

I have burned the clothes from that night

I have bought ten different loofahs

I have gone through five bars of soap

But yet I still can’t feel clean

I don’t walk as tall anymore

I always look over my shoulder

You are the dirt on my back that I can never get off

The dirt on my nose that everyone is staring at

The dirt on my arms that I have to cover up

Every day I cover my skin so no one can touch it

Every night I try to shower you off

But I can’t get clean

(the original caption I wrote was the poem above but I wasn’t sure if it counted as a blog post, so below is a secondary paragraph)

“Can’t Get Clean”

This photo was inspired by many survivors that speak about showering several times after being assaulted and feeling like they can never get clean. Survivors can burn the clothes they wore and remove as much of the trauma from their lives’ as they can but they feel as though they still can’t rid themselves of their attacker. They feel they are wearing them as a suit; it affects them daily, from the way they walk to the way they act in the world around them. Their attacker becomes part of their dress. Shower after shower they can’t get clean, no matter how much they scrub, or how many times they told themselves their clothes were not asking for it, or how many times they change clothes. No matter how many showers they take they can’t get clean.